Dec 03, 2013
Uncle Broomcorn’s Odd Edge: News from the Fringes of Normality No. 7
By RTR Dennis
Goat Brought Into Court to Face Rapist Weird? Yes, but also downright disgraceful. 28 year old Katana Kitsao Gona from Kenya has been sentenced to ten years in jail after he admitted to having sex with a goat. The goat herself was actually brought into court by prosecutors as evidence.
One of Gona’s neighbours told the court that he’d gone to urinate behind a bush when he noticed some clothes hanging from a tree. When he went to see why the clothes were there, he found Katana Kitsao Gona having sex with the goat which had been tied to the tree to graze. The goat’s owner was alerted, and Gona was taken into police custody immediately after.
Gona asked for a pardon in court, saying he had a disable wife who was dependent on him, but the magistrate dealt him a ten-year sentence – a record length sentence for a bestiality case. In fact the UK’s own Robert Newman only had to serve a six-week jail sentence for a similar offence. He was also banned from all farms in the United Kingdom and forced to register as a sex offender.
Every Time It Rains, It Rains... marijuana from heaven (oobie doobie)
That’s right – 262 pounds of the green stuff apparently. In San Diego last week, U.S. Customs and Border Protection found just over 260 pounds of tightly wrapped marijuana with an estimated street value of $157,000, and arrested two men who had allegedly turned up at the scene to collect the delivery.
Officials said that an ultra-light aeroplane travelling from Mexico dropped the package - which had been tied to a large metal cage normally used to hold general cargo – into a field not far from Brown Field Airport. The plane was tracked by the Office of Air and Marine as it crossed the border around 4:15 am on Monday 25th November.
Not so much a case of getting high on your own supply as getting the supply up high! Am I right? ...I’ll get my coat.
UFO Capital threatened by Neo Nazi Invasion
Rachel, Nevada – the town right near the infamous Area 51 and replete with flying saucer themed diners – has been the UFO capital of the USA for more than a quarter of a century.
“The truth is out there...” The X-Files promise, and folks from all over the world seem to know whereabouts out there it might be, and travel to Rachel every year to seek it out. They tell tales of alien abduction, try and sneak a peek at Area 51’s secret projects, get a picture with the mysterious black mailbox, and otherwise try and get a glimpse of some weird and wonderful extraterrestrial activity.
But very recently the town’s only gas station and the local RV park were mysteriously both purchased by the same unnamed buyer, and immediately closed down. Rachel residents wondered if they’re witnessing a hostile takeover of their town. Soon after, plenty of the locals fled, leaving the local minister to investigate who exactly has purchased and closed the RV park and Gas Station. The name ‘JHM Church’ was found to be attached the deeds, and it turns out that JHM Church is a white supremacist organisation, categorised alongside the KKK and racist skinheads. The church is basically a group of Christian Neo-Nazis, and are considered a niche and dangerous organisation.
FBI investigators have been sent in to question people about any potential links to such a dangerous group. In the mean time, we hope that the residents of Rachel, Nevada won’t let these bloody idiots ruin their quaint and kooky town.